Reviewing the Samsung Galaxy On5 Cellular Phone

Its been just over two weeks since I bought and started using my new Galaxy On5, and honestly, i cannot say I'm overly satisfied with it. For the price and the newness of it, i admit i expected much greater performance and utility.

Now, because i have to use my phone for work, I recognize that i am a bit harder pm my phones than the average user probably is. That being said, the only slightly abnormal use on my end, is constantly running google maps for directions around the city while I'm delivering. And even within that use, my old tired aquos sharp phone, that froze up constantly, could hold a battery charge about twice as long as this new On5 and at very least stayed on if i kept it plugged in. Even on my days off, when i mostly use my Samsung phone for light internet browsing for fifteen mins here and there, i seem to only be able to get a good four or five hours of off the charger time with this phone. Even when i have my On5 plugged into a charger, it still drains and drains until its gone, even if i only have a few very light apps in use. Not cool.

Next, i know it's silly, but for the newness of the software and the Samsung brand name, i was really expecting to see that this phone had gyroscope on it for playing games like pokemon go. To my dismay, the On5 comes with no such features.

On the good side, i do like that this phone has a sturdy windows feature that lets you go back and forth between apps your using, and makes it easy to get back to whatever you were using. I also like the size. It fits in your hand but isn't super tiny either.

Those aren't the only good features of the On5, but I'm having a hard time focusing on them as i struggle to write this very blog, because the Swype keyboard feature in this phone is very clunky and far from intuitive. I also see that my phone, for the second time today, is telling me I'm almost out of storage space again. This is probably my biggest peeves about the On5. It's packed to the brim with useless phone provider and Samsung apps that you cannot uninstall, that take up most of the phones tiny 8gigs of internal space.

Now, this isn't my first time around the block, so i knew when i bought it that it was going to be full of crap apps, so I bought a 32 gig sd card in anticipation of that. I really wish phone providers and manufacturers would get the hint and stop prefilling phones, but until then, i figured a large card should cover everything i want to use.

Sadly, despite the fact that i have over 22 gigs of space still open on my card, the phone still does not seem to understand that it can store pretty much anything on the card. No matter how many times i switch things over to external storage, something you have to annoyingly do manually on this phone, it still stores every junk file and cache on the internal drives, and requires a daily cache wipe and storage transfer if you have more than three or four non native apps you want to use. With most of society using their phones for both business and pleasure, it can be easy to fill up the measly 2.5 gigs you get left with after you disable most of that crap apps.

All in all, I'm upset to yet again have a brand new phone with so many issues with usability and utility. I expected better from you samsung. Truly.

Life After Thirty...

I find myself thinking today, about 5 years ago, when my partner was just turning 31, and he was constantly complaining about how "old" he was, and how much his body hurt, and how his life was already half over, and on and on. He's a cancer, so part of this cycle of thinking is in his nature. Though he wasn't alone, as we had many other friends in their early thirties who had many of the same complaints and concerns.

Being a pragmatic Capricorn, it was a really big turn off to think of myself turning thirty and then suddenly feeling super old and worn out. Its fine if other ppl want to feel that way, but i have this vulnerability complex going on, so i can't have that kind of nonsense rattling around in my head, lol. It had to be some sort of strange social phenomena, a brief moment of midlife insanity, or some strange influence of Saturn's return.

I thoroughly believed it was exactly that until just a few hours ago, while i was lying in the physical therapy office getting shocked with estim pads after having a twist and shout session to try and get rid of my back pain. Laying their on my side, because it hurts too much to lay flat on my back, i started to think of everything that has happened since my wintertime 30th birthday.

Ankle and foot surgery, over a year of physical therapy for two different issues, doctor supervised pain management, extra tiredness, extra weight, not being able to find a single comfortable pair of shoes. And on and on. I realized that while i logically recognized I'm far from "old", it's super easy to "feel" old with my body acting like it's in some new circus act.

Is this life after thirty for everyone?

What is it about Money?

You know, there's just something about money that is so frustratingly illusive.

It's like the mirage in the dessert when you're dying of thirst and heat exhaustion. No matter how close you think you're getting, it's always just out of reach. And even if you do manage to reach it, you'll find it to be nothing more than mounds of sand that forever slips out of your grasp.

It seems like no matter what you do, it's always way too easy to spend five times as much money than you have, and ten times as hard to make it back.

Whenever you have it, life feels easier, even if you have to work until your bones bleed to keep it coming in. When you don't have it, it feels like you're bones are bleeding around the clock even if you're not working at all. When you have it, it's so easy to imagine a million ways to spend it. Part of it obviously goes to the things you have to have to live and be at least moderately comfortable. Then at least another small part needs to be saved. Though the rest... the rest has so many possibilities... You could use some of it to fix that old car that was supposed to be ready to go months ago. Or better yet, you could just sell that car and use some of your new incoming money to get a newer car that wouldn't be such a hassle. Though that would mean getting into another payment plan, which just reminds you of the last time you were sure you could handle a payment plan for a car, and failed abysmally once medical issues occurred that stopped you from being able to work and continue paying those payments.

So scratch the newer car idea. That's not a good plan. Just fix the old car. It's cheaper, easier, and doesn't require a long term financial commitment to any loan sharks.

Though what about other things you don't exactly need, but that would make your life easier... like a new phone that has a battery that will last longer than 30 minutes while you're using it for your independent courier business... Or new tires for the run down car you're using for deliveries.

The mind goes back and forth between all the things that you need to get down, and all the things you've wanted to do for so long. Both types of spending have been on your list for years as your debt only seemed to grow, and that weighs on the mind and you consider what you absolutely need to get done, need to have to keep working, and what sort of wiggle room you could squeeze out of whatever income is coming in.

There's just something about money. Whoever created that first spell either new very well what nefarious magick they were manifesting, or they unwittingly stumbled upon a torturous mistake that they couldn't contain. Either way, they put an energy out into this world that has and will continue to plague human kind for eons.

What is it about Horses?

Multiple times throughout the years, I find myself dreaming and daydreaming of being with horses. Riding them, feeding them, grooming them, heck, even cleaning up after them. At first, it was just the desire to ride them on long quiet trails. Then it became more about the connection, not just a physical connection, but a spiritual one as well.

Review Buttercream Rainbow Boucle Yarn

I've been recently working to use up some yarn that my mom thought I'd enjoy working with, called Buttercream Rainbow Boucle. The more I work with it, the more I've become drawn to writing a brief review about it, especially considering it's peculiarities.

Buttercream, as far as I can tell, is a newer company, at least in my geographic location. Their brand didn't appear in local craft stores until about a year ago, and since then they've slowly been building their variety. Even with that in mind, nothing really caught my eye in either price or color variants, until my mom and I were taking advantage of the spring sales at Joann fabrics in Lynwood.
The sale prices put the buttercream yarns, which usually run about $10 a skein, were now in the reasonable price zone, and my mom was just fascinated with how soft they felt.

I was a bit skeptical, considering how small and frail the yarn is, but they had some great color variants at this store, and mom was buying, so I happily agreed to try it out.

So far, it's been about a month that I've been working with different variations of the Rainbow Boucle.

I can't say that I'm entirely displeased, though I also can't say I can picture myself going out of the way to purchase this acrylic-nylon blend again. Maybe with like a 75% of discount on some of the racier color variants, or if someone just had some they were giving away. Though at anything above about $4 a skein, I couldn't say I'd be interested in handing over any cold hard cash.

And it's not that the Rainbow Boucle yarn is all bad. I'm actually quite fond of the strangely textured fabric that develops after you crochet it all together. It's advertised as super soft, which it sort of is. Though it's soft mixed with coarse, which is a strange but also oddly pleasant tactile sensation. It's one of those you can't help but sit and pet like a strange little inanimate cat, lol.

I also like that although the yarn is super slim, it actually turns out quite bulky after you've crocheted it all together.

That being said, there are several things about this Rainbow yarn that just turn me off.

First and foremost, this yarn is the stringy finicky yarn that likes to get tangled around your hook, and bind up if you have to go back a row or two. Most of the skeins I've had don't come apart into a bunch of yarn knots thankfully, but the few that did, took days to unknot, and by the time that second day came, I was so frustrated I just cut the tangles out and tossed them, which for me, is atrocious. I can't stand losing otherwise useful yarn, especially to something as ridiculous as skein knots.

These little tangles that pop up frequently, eat away at your time like little yarn piranha, devouring your patience along with it. And because the yarn itself is actually a very tiny gauge nylon string with acrylic fibers sticking out from it, you cannot truly see each stitch like you can with worsted weight acrylics and other larger gauge yarns. Not being able to see the stitches makes it extremely annoying to try and accurately count stitches or keep track of your string tension while your crocheting. For some, this means that every four or five rows you have to pull out at least two rows because you mistakenly added or subtracted a stitch, but didn't notice soon enough because of the way the yarn is.

To avoid frustration, I've just decided to continue on with any small mistakes, correcting them in the next row. Thankfully, one or two extra stitches on an occasional row doesn't show up as blatantly with this yarn as is can with other yarns. Though it's still frustrating knowing that my projects couldn't pass the straight edge test.

Another strange conundrum I've noticed with this yarn, is that whenever you cut, say to wrap up yarn balls, it starts to loosen up. You'd think you'd just need to cut it shorter, but that only increases the problem and wastes yarn. Instead, you have to work in the frayed end just the way it is, which isn't always easy, and results in a loser stitch or two. This is more annoying than anything else, but from a functional aspect, it's also the weakest link and most likely to get caught on something and break.

Rainbow Boucle doesn't work out as well for most of my freeform crochet projects. I'm determined to find a way to work in some skein ends, but as far as working out a freeform project in Rainbow Boucle, I can't picture it happening. Not necessarily because it just can't be done, I'm sure others have or could do it, but because as a functional yarn, Rainbow Boucle is like a magnet. It attracts all manner of grass seed heads, cleaver seeds, cat hair, people hair, pine needles, lint balls, and whatever else you can think of. Worse than that, it's difficult to pick out all the little debris that gets caught in it. Most of my freeform crochet projects turn into wearable items, like shawls or gloves, neither of which a person wants to be picking crud out of four the rest of it's wearable lifetime.

Last but not least, because of the pitfalls of this fabric, I've found that while you can use it with just about any stitch, if you're not looking to spend eons on a crochet project, the best stitch to work is the half double crochet. It shows of the color, doesn't leave to many loose areas, and doesn't get caught on the hook as often.

I think overall, I'd rate Buttercream Rainbow Boucle Yarn with 3 out of 5 hooks.

Itemized Ratings:
Price: 2 hooks, it costs to much for what you get.
Color Variations: 4 hook, I wish there were more worsted weight with these variants.
Texture: 3.5 hooks, it's not super soft, but it is soft, and at last pleasant on the skin.
Portability: 1 hook, don't take this one outside!
Length: 3 hooks. You don't get as much length as you'd imagine from first glance, but 1 skein is at least enough for a medium sized baby blanket (or equivalent project)
Speed: 2.5 hooks, this isn't the yarn to choose if you're looking to whip up a wick set of gloves or anything.

So far, I've set myself towards lighter projects with this yarn. It's not great fit gloves or functional hats, so scarves, altar clothes, medicine pipe covers, and vests have been my go to projects so far.

I'm still playing with the skeins I have left, so if I make any new discoveries with this yarn, you'll be the first to know.

Until then, tell me about your experiences and projects with Buttercream Rainbow Boucle yarn in the comments section!

Personal Catharsis and the sins of my forefathers...

It's the middle of the night, and of course, nothing new for me to be going through a personal catharsis. The one I'm currently going through isn't even new, and is a continuation of mental and spiritual torment that I've been going through for over almost two decades.

And the more I'm driven to explore and learn, the more barriers I butt up against, perpetuating each cathartic moment.

To give you a little bit of mixed up background... born in Jan of 86, depending on who you ask, I'd be considered a "bihort", neither directly belonging to Generation X or Millennial's, but fitting in with both cohorts and exhibiting most of the traits and traumas of both generational groupings. It's strange, as neither group will claim and I, likewise cannot truly claim either identity cleanly. Sadly, this type of pattern stretches on through my life. Culturally, I can't cleanly claim any specific origin and none would claim me, as I don't fit into any of the tight lines carved across each land. By blood, I'm told I'm Irish, Scottish, Germanic, French and questionably a small portion of one unidentified Snohomish indigenous tribe. Familially, I was adopted into a family that can be traced back to Ireland and Wales specifically, and then intertwines into Scotland, France and Poland -- so that doesn't help much, even if it was directly in my blood. In either case, I'm a mutt. Good or bad, I can think of no other word for it. I cannot directly tie any of my ancestral blood to any current lifetime links to any of those cultures, adopted or otherwise.

socioeconomically I'm just as left out. Technically I'm a minority, but only because of my lack of penis. Otherwise I'm lumped in with those who check the "Caucasian, not Hispanic" box on the census. Though I don't make any reasonable amount of money, so even if I felt called to join up with one of the myriad of predominately white American culture cults, I couldn't afford it.

When it comes to community, I really can't claim any specific and appropriate identity, as I never grew up in any specific community outside of the highly miseducated predominately white Seattle school system I attended. I've briefly been a part of a number of groups, most of which I quickly got out of as fast as I got into them, in an attempt to find a community I can call "home" and appropriately belong to. A maddening process which has gone on since my youth. From bible camps to brownies to Masonic youth groups to diverse drum groups to writing groups to neo pagan communities to activist troops to neo shamanic circles to even some spiritually-culturally mixed ceremonial groups and more. Some might be amazed at how many things a person can get themselves into, even without money, for others it's not surprising at all. I wouldn't claim any of those communities or experiences as bad or negative, and each were amazing in their own ways, though neither have I ever really been able to comfortably sit among any of those groups and felt like I really truly belonged amongst them. I'm generally an easy going person whose fairly easy to get along with, and I'm as respectful as my knowledge and experience allows me to be, so I'm often tolerated and welcome amongst any group I seek to participate in, but being tolerated and allowed to participate, is not always or even usually the same thing as truly belonging to a community.

Spiritually, the catharsis gets no better, as there are no real places in Washington state, for a non-abrahamic, categorically "white" female who doesn't even have two pennies to rub together, to belong to unless you want to knowingly and/or negligently participate in culturally inappropriate practices. I've generally found that most of those groups are innocently enough trying to recreate some semblance of spiritual structure, balance and growth that is so lacking in our in numbing industrialized western nation, and due to such a large amount of rebuff and lack of authentic, open and factual information, are judged to be muddying other spiritual and cultural traditions, innocently or not. The other groups, while in their minority, are encountered often enough and usually are much more highly publicized and horrid in their crimes, that a respectful knowledge seeking person has to be careful not to get entrapped in their enchanting frauds, aimed at profitizing a sort of "McSpiritual Experience" full of random mcnuggets of stolen spiritual truths plumped up with westernized metaphorical versions of growth hormones that make them seem like bigger, better, more filling versions of the originals, when in fact, they are drier than red ochre clay and not nearly as nutritional, especially for all the hype they receive as some sort of uber exotic spiritual miracle experience that you can get in 1/16th of the original time for 300% of the original price.

Spiritually, I was baptized Lutheran, not because my family belonged to the congregation, but in fact, because it was the only church within a reasonable distance from my parents home, that would baptize a baby for a family that didn't want to join the congregation afterward. And for that matter, I was only baptized, mostly as a precaution from two minutely superstitious parents who were lucky to have been able to adopt any child. They claim a sort of agnosticism, but pretty much practice atheism unless someone is getting married or has died. From what few and horrid experiences I wondered through as a kid who only had access to predominately Christian youth groups, I knew before I was a preteen, that I didn't belong in any abrahamic traditions either. Being an avid reader and constant knowledge seeker, even as a youth, I quickly found my way into the easily accessible wiccan information and groups that began to spread like wildfire across the internet, and was easily digestible for youths like myself, who both wanted to escape the suffocating hold of the church and to find more magick and authentic acceptance amidst like-minded individuals.

Like most things that seem too good to be true, or that turn out to be the comforting myths of our youth, Wicca too, became a part of my past. A place of beginning that I'm grateful to have found at the time, but that as a more experienced and educated adult, I can't neatly fit into, nor do I wish to anymore. From that starting point, I was at least able to begin to cleanse my brain, body and spirit of some of the whitewashing and brainwashing I'd grown up swimming in, though it still took some time get most of the gunk out, and I'm still working on that process even now. Maybe even more so these days.

From Wicca, I was introduced to the umbrella term of paganism and quickly found myself fond of Celtic spiritually, neo shamanism and Native American spiritual traditions. All of these spiritual cultures are vast, diverse and have large portions of them that feel "right" and true. Energetically, I attribute this feeling to the mixture of ancestry in my distant past. Psychologically, I associate it with a burning desire to belong to an authentic and earnest community where I too, have a greater purpose than just being a white American schmuck doomed to work until I'm dead or paid off in debt, and we both know which is likely to come first.

When I first came across these spiritual paths, and started to find what I could personally experience and verify as "truth", I lovingly incorporated those truths and practices into my daily life. I was "eclectic", a label in pagan communities for someone who incorporates many traditions, ceremonies, myths, beliefs and practices into their personal lives. I still like that term, and I hope one day it will be more widely accepted and even encouraged, since most of all the people across the world will all be mixed together culturally, in our not too distant future. Though until then, being eclectic is mostly a choice from lack of local and authentic guidance that isn't misguided or misappropriated, or both. There are a few out there, in my experience, who have truly received authentic teachings through long hard years of travel, voluntary servitude and sheer tenacity, though they are few and far between. It's much more common to find eclectic folks who are just as lost as I am, or those whom paid their way through workshops, seminars and "retreats", who pretend to appear comfortable in their "earned" spiritual educations and community connections, but whom often continue to try and fill a void they can't explain the existence of if they were really so fulfilled.
It wasn't until my mid twenties, not very long ago, that I started to realize most of which I'd devoted my time to learning and practicing as well as I could with the resources I had -- which wasn't much -- that none of the spiritual cultures I felt connected to, would ever accept me as a one of their own, even if I could choose just one. If I attempted to go to Ireland and connect with authentic druids or witches with verifiable ancestry (who wouldn't charge me an arm and a leg), I'd be laughed out of the group as an Irish Paddy, since I'd have to go back at least 4 generations to find my nearest Irish ancestors and have no authentic modern connections to the culture. The same is even more so highlighted within any potential Salish tribal community I might seek to integrate into, as even if I could get one of those fancy DNA tests to prove I actually have any Native American blood in me, there were no good records kept of marriages between poor Irish descendant women and Native men in the 1800's, as such a thing was likely to get both parties beheaded, and even if it wouldn't, the record keeping sucked anyways. When it comes to shamanism, the only locally available opportunities to learn and train that are available to me, cost more money than I'll probably ever have and are so muddied and mixed up, that it's hard to even really call it "neoshamanism", as it's far removed from any authentic communal healing cultures that could truly be considered shamanic. And even if I had enough money to go off into the world and find an authentic shaman of any specific type, I have young children and aging parents whom I can't and won't abandon any time soon, for the likely decades of time I'd need to devote to learning all the right procedures, ceremonies, rites, redes and initiations to truly follow the paths of my souls desires.
Sure, if there were some true spiritual healer from a long tradition of anything resembling what we dream of as true shamanic, who was hidden away in this state somewhere and he or she were willing to take me on without requiring money in exchange, I would jump on the opportunity like a starved panther and stay in it for as long as necessary. Though if such a person really exists here, I'm certainly not any where near finding them and I'm not sure how much longer I can pretend that I might be able to find them...

And even if I could do such a thing, it would be near impossible to live in the way that we consider a communal healer to do so. The government, with loving support from droves of mullified sheeple, doesn't allow for anyone to live outside of their governance and that means through one process or another, they'll want money from me. My personal opinion and fervent belief, is that knowledge and especially healing of any sort, should be free of charge. Contributions are certainly not turned away and could even be encouraged, but are never required, openly or manipulatively.

So not only would I be at odds with myself for asking for any amount of money or even highly valuable trades only asked for to keep my own debts in check, but the minute word gets out, I'd go from bring a respectful outsider who practices sacred ways, to immediately being labeled another "plastic shaman" trying to make a buck off of needy new agers in search of authentic spiritual experiences or knowledge. That's the last thing I would want, especially considering that even authentically earned information and rites, which are hard to come by for a white outsider, would still be considered cultural appropriation. And it really wouldn't have anything to do with a wealth or lack of community, respect or authentic training. It all comes down to one thing: skin color. It's not even my ancestry, which if correct, means my ancestors were likely starving but widely peaceful Irish men and women who played very few roles in the wars of their European cousins, especially since they were largely ostracized almost as heavily as any other race of the time. Many even came over as slaves and indentured servants. Lineage doesn't really matter when you look like the enemy and reap even a few of the stolen benefits they've decided they deserve.

Which finally brings me back to the title of this post, and opens up even more catharsis...

Because of the greedy, judgemental, war mongering, misogynistic European bastards who built Rome on the blood of those they deemed less superior, and then eventually came to turtle island to do the same exact thing -- because of them, I now have no place where I can truly belong to. Yet, the most paradoxical and maddening part, is that because of their bloody sins that still permeate every corner of this continent, I can't even truly scream with all the rage it invokes in my very soul. I'm not allowed to claim it's unfair to be an outcast, to be ostracized or to be excluded from even creating my own mixture of spiritual paths, because my skin color earns me the perverse curse of "white privilege", which is absolutely more than a cargo truck full ancestral baggage that will stain my grandchildren's grandchildren with the blood stolen away inside them. To make it even more paradoxical, while it's completely unfair to me as an individual (and those like me), it's a completely understandable karmic retribution. Until a true balance has been achieved, and the world is not ruled by the descendants of the most violent and destructive race of humans still known throughout history, nothing will change. People like me will still continue to be lost in a sea of tears and blood, stained with the blood of those who were railroaded by our ancestors through no choice of our own. Even the many things we can to do begin to repair and repay some of the rifts of the past that still pervade the present, are not likely to have any meaningful significance in our lifetimes...

I might not be able to consciously register current events if I live to be 99, but it's my sincerest hope that I'll live to see the day when all peoples and all cultures welcome and accept each other openly and without fear, and not under some ridiculous globalized government frock. When no particular race, socioeconomic class, culture, orientation or spiritual path is more abundant or dominate in the world than any other. When each breed of human is finally done repaying the sins of their forefathers and no living being has to ever again worry about death, desecration, dehumanization or devastation through the hands of any others. The days when peace, compassion, acceptance and contentment are the encouraged norm. When no one, for any reason, holds "privilege" over any other.

Is this all a big phat pipe dream wrapped up in a rant?
Probably...

Still, at the bottom of Pandora's box, hope holds on...

Navigating in the Other Realms

During a recent shamanic gathering I'm attending, it was suggested to me that I have a certain talent for navigating in the "other" realms, which tickled my plumicorn and inspired me to write about that very topic, which some of you might find illuminating.

It really didn't dawn on me until that moment, that others might not find it so obvious how to travel around in other realms, but it does make sense, as it's vastly different from what we're used to on this particularly dense plane we spend most of our time in.

For me, it was never really too hard, as my Gemini side is very much a thinker and a creator, which are two very important skills in other realms. You really need to be able to use the energy known as "thought" to be able to will yourself to go where you want to go. In this realm, you don't have to stop and think about how to walk when you want to go somewhere, you just decide you want to go to the store and get up and go. It works the same for most other things we do, cooking, cleaning, studying, etc..

Most of this is possible through muscle memories that you've been developing since you were born. When you want to pick something up, you just do it because your hands and arms already know what to do.

In other realms, it's not completely different. You'll need to develop the muscles memory in your ethereal body, just like you did with your normal body (I say "normal" for lack of a better word. I'm sure there is one, it's just not in my vocabulary yet). If you've never done lucid dreaming, astral travel or shamanic journeying before, these muscles might be especially weak. You could also just have a natural ability to know what to do, or you might have inadvertently built your muscles through dreams you might or might not remember. Most of us though, need to build up our astral muscles and get used to the way things work for you.

I want to emphasize that last part, as there are plenty of different experiences. Most folks will find theirs pretty similar to anyone else's, but there are many different ways to navigate and travel in other realms and yours could end up blossoming into a whole new way.

Now, as I said before, traveling in other realms comes to me quite easily, but that doesn't mean I haven't had my own trials and troubles. When I first tried to astral project, one thing or another keep pulling me back into my physical body. Sometimes it was fear, other times it was over analyzation, other times it was lack of proper surroundings. One thing or another keep me from getting out into the ethereal realms.

When it comes to lucid dreaming, I have those since I was about 7 years old, before I even knew what lucid dreaming or shamanism or any of this stuff was, but I remember quite clearly, how hard it was to move or will myself to do something I wanted to do. I often find myself stuck in one place in one position, observing events unfold in front of me, unable to do anything about any of it. I can remember several dreams where I'd wake up screaming because I couldn't move or go anywhere and it was scary in a very real way. In those lucid dreams I couldn't even get anything to come out of my mouth, not even the tiniest whisper. But the more the dream came, the more I was able to say or move, even if it was only the tiniest bit.

I remember after a very vivid lucid dream I had as a preteen, where I got stabbed right in the belly button and woke up feeling like the knife was still there, I began my search into learning more about dreams like that. This is when I learned about the idea of lucid dreaming and shamanic journeying, and began to try new things to be able to attempt to move and navigate in these real dreams. It was about this same time that I learned to look at my physical hands and then learn to do the same in the dreams, as a way of knowing I was fully aware in the dream and as a way of developing some semblance of control over my dreaming body.

Before long, moving around became easier and then the lucid flying dreams began, which were a whole new ballgame for me. Some of those experiences were more frightening than not being able to move at all. If you can imagine yourself learning to fly unassisted, imagine that the first time you get a decent levitation going, you don't know how to go back down and end up floating up and out into space and beyond. Panic is an understatement. It takes a minute to even wake up in your physical body, and there were a few times I couldn't even do that until I came back down. Even with all the terror, the thrill of really flying and going anywhere I wanted was such an ecstatic feeling that even my physical body would orgasm in response (which is a topic for another time).

Honestly, it was the flying that triggered the realization of how movement worked in the other realms. It was a matter of Will. I had to will myself up off the ground, and will myself to go up or down or forward or back. I couldn't just think about flying and have it happen, I had to put intention into it. The same had become true for me in any journey, whether it be a dreaming journey, a meditation journey, a long distance healing journey or shamanic journey. All the same principals applied: will + intention = movement.

It's important to remember that "movement" and "navigation" can mean more than just walking, flying, falling, etc.. Some folks are easily able to walk, but they find themselves stuck in an empty room with brick walls and no doors or windows. What then? You might be able to move in the room you're in, but how to you move out of this room? This is another type of movement issue, but the same principals apply. Many folks will find themselves stuck in there because all they can think about is that there's no way out. That's the catch though, isn't it. It's like meeting your power animal. If your intention is to search for your power animal, you'll spend most of your time looking for them but not finding them. Alternatively, if your intention is to find or meet your power animal, then you will find them. It's the same with the room. If you're only think about finding a way out you might stay stuck in there until the end of your journey. Alternatively, if you were to look for a way through the room, you might suddenly find that the walls are more of a membrane than actual solid brick, meaning that you could walk through the walls and then you'd hand no need of doors or windows.

Another example might be that you find yourself in a situation where you can't see anything. Maybe you're in a dark cave or place where there's just no light. Who knows? But if all you think about is that you can't see and that you want to see, your going to stay blind for a while longer. Instead, if you thought about what was blocking your vision, you might be able to overcome the issue. Maybe you've got a blindfold on? Maybe you need a flashlight or candle or another source of light? Or maybe you simply need to leave the area your in and find another place. You could walk around to find an exit, fly up to see if there's an exit, walk through the walls or borrow down into the earth and find another place.

I think by now you get what I'm saying. When it comes to moment in the other realms, you need to be creative and not get yourself stuck on thinking about what isn't working. Then once you've figured out what you want to do, you will yourself to do take that action.

Let's summarize this for those of you who don't read the prologues.

1. If you can't move your body in any direction and nothing is impeding your movement, think about what you want to do (walk, jump, fly, twitch your toes, etc) and then will yourself to do it.

2. If you can't move because something is blocking or impeding your movement (like a wall), think about other intentions you could use to find another way out, through or simply beyond where you are.

3. If you're still having troubles beyond these, get creative. What would happen if you just closed your eyes and willed yourself to be somewhere else?

Share your experiences below in the comments! The more we share, the more we know collectively =)